Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
