Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
