I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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