Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
