just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
