your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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