Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
