when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
