Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your penis caused this!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
