I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
