just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
