I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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