Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
