oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I deserve this hangover.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
