P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
