Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
