I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
God, I missed his penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
