I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
