i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
