If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
