U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
