I must be too annoying 4 u.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
