i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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