So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
