O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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