I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
that may or may not have been my penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
