i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
