i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
