Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
