no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
