I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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