Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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