so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
zippers are such a cool invention
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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