Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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