my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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