i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
