is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
