found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
