I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
