thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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