She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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