they need to just BURY HIM!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
