Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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