No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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