wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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