Buhtt sex?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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