i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
