I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
