Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
