ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
