im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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