Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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