Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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