But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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