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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I misjudged your gender.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze

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• (941): View more from Florida

  there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.

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• (415): View more from California

  Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said

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